Monday

29. January



Whoa, talk about coincidence. I just had to write this down. So this biker dude Hale was at the gym today. I had just arrived and changed into my fitness gear, ready to do some boxing, when I passed by the toilets and there by the door stood this Hale dude, with his long hair tucked back into a pony tail. Wow, I didn’t expect that. So I passed by as nonchalant as I could and just gave him a quick smile before walking on. I didn’t know that he was training here too. Now I tried to focus really hard and tried even harder to have a tough work-out, but I was so distracted, which was really annoying. So a bit later I walked around, looking for Jamie and I found him in his little basement office. As we stood there chatting a bit, this Hale dude actually walked by, greeting Jamie. Jamie said “hey, what’s up?”... and then when the guy was looking at me, Jamie said: “Ah this is Ruthless”... hah, awesome. Well done Jamie! Hale looked at me with a smile and winked: “Oh, are you Ruthless?”... I said all cool with a smirk, “yes, that’s my name.” And he replied : “well I better watch out then..” Haha, he’s so cute. So, he already saw me at the factory room with Roamer and the guys, and now he knows my name, which in fact is ‘Ruthless’, so he definitely knew now for sure that I was not just some bimbo girl hanging around, but that I am working in the business. Brilliant. And it was really awesome that he was standing here now with me and Jamie, winking at me. I really hope Jamie got a little jealous at that. He didn’t say anything though.

Oh, I also really flirtet with this Alex dude at the bar I mentioned. I really fancy him, and I like talking to him. Had this hot dream about him as well... it was so weird, but so very sexy. I will go back there again next week.

(c) I am Ruthless

Sunday

13. Feb.

I had to play “prison guard” the entire week. Not really my job, but I was thrown into it and I can’t say it was my thing really. But hey, I am part of the gang, and sometimes I have to do the dirty job together with the gang. Of course Jamie wasn’t there at all, oh no, he’s way too important for that kind of primitive shit.

So what happened? Well, as usual, I didn’t really get the details. Just follow instructions and don’t ask questions. Mister N. just called me last Monday morning and told me to visit the guys at the factory room and help them out with taking breaks, delivering take-out food, drive around doing errands for them and stuff.  Fair enough, but god, I so hate the factory room! Ok, let me explain. The factory room is down by the docks. An empty, old warehouse building used for different shady purposes, yes amongst those hostages up on the top floor... including a few tortures and kill offs.  A fucking creepy place, I hate it, especially at night... I’m sure the corridors are haunted. So was I really the right person for a guarding position? I don’t think so. I’m too afraid of ghosts! I’m sure the other guys are creeped out too. If they were honest.

So anyway, we had to watch this guy, and make sure he kept in place. The guy was an informer for another boss who indeed had become a threat to Mister N. and thus, to all of us. So the guy was sitting on vital info, and Roamer tried to hammer it out of him, but the guy would not sing, not even at gun point. No matter what Roamer said or did to him and seriously, crazy Roamer tried everything.
So Roamer got desperate, and hungry, which always makes him very cranky. They tied the guy to this chair in the middle of the room... Roamer and his good helpers, Kalle and Mika poured water on him, first ice cold, then hot. The guy was screaming, turning all red on his skin and then he was pissing down the chair, but still he wouldn’t talk. The smell got to me, it was nasty and I almost ran out of there. I mean this was just wrong! I’m not a bad person and torture is not my cup of tea.

Roamer was just about to cut the dudes tongue but Joel reminded him that he then really could not talk. They decided to get the car battery and give him those electro shocks on his chest. Guy was crying, then shitting his pants, and I felt really bad for him. This was horrible and yet, I couldn’t say anything. Damn why didn’t he just talk?? Hell, I would! Just say something, just make up some shit that wasn’t true. I mean, what a way to go. This kind of situation is really not like it is presented to us on film, where some hero is always tied up or locked up for a long time, but still looking fairly clean and has not been to the toilet at all. This really is not the case in reality. In reality, the victims pee and shit their pants very quickly. It’s not like they scream and then go “oh hey I need to go to the bathroom” and the tormentors go “oh sure, down the hall to the right, but hurry back to the chair”.  No, it’s not like that.

The guy stayed in that chair for two more days, so yes, one night the boys all went home to go and get some sleep and I was called in to do some night watch. Me alone, watching that poor dude moaning on that chair, sitting in his own dirt, gross. Well Joel was supposed to stay with me but then he said that he had to go home to feed his cat, and then he never came back, which was so not cool.  God, the next hours were dreadful. And I was so freaked out and scared by the place, I did not go to the bathroom down the hall the entire night. I just sat there all stressed out by the table, with my large magnum, ready for any possible attacker, human or ghost. My heart was pounding. I was thinking about calling Jamie or little Paul and asking them to come over because I really cannot do this, but really, I simply could not show them that I am such a little sissy. Maybe this even was a test, I don’t know. The lads came back at 5 in the morning and thanked me for sitting guard for them, aww, that was nice. So glad when that night, and with it, my ‘shift’ was over. I really hope that I don’t have to do that kind of work again.


Anyway, the guy is fine. His boss cut a deal with Mister N. and he then was released from his torture  chair. Young Kalle put him in his van, and dropped off his beaten, shit-stained body outside the hospital last night. The guy never talked. Impressive. I really don’t wanna know who had to clean up that mess in the room. Luckily it’s so not my problem . 

(c) I am Ruthless