10. January 

It’s friday night and I deserve a party night out. Gonna meet Cassandra for a drink at one of our favourite bars. I bought this cute, black dress from Zara’s earlier this week, and I can’t wait to show myself around in it. I already told Cassandra that we have to step by the club and office tonight before we go out, just to check in with Mister N. and chat a bit. Of course I just hope that Jamie will be there and see me in my gorgeous dress. Yeah, it was so nice to see him again. Even though he seemed pretty distracted and preoccupied with his cage business and other stuff. But I did have a couple of days with serious training. Got some painful blows to my shoulder, but it’s going good. Had a good time with little Paul as well. He’s always so funny. I actually was assisting him on a job. A quick hit and run. Well, I didn’t really do anything except sit in the passenger seat holding his coffee as he drove off like a maniac. No idea what or who he was aiming at. But I was present, for sure. Little Paul is such a good driver. As usual he offered me a little nose candy afterwards as we safely stood parked in the car park below the city centre and this time, I had a little, yes. Hey, after all, Jamie was not around. We had a really good afternoon... So I guess I kinda witnessed my second death, but I didn’t want to ask Paul. I felt nothing, except the relief for not getting caught. And this is pretty amazing. 

Anyway, I was introduced to a very important guy this week. The one Jamie talked about. He’s simply called ‘the Gardener’.  For obvious reasons. The Gardener, I assume, is digging holes... in his garden. We all know what that means, right? I’m not really sure how it works. All I learned is that after a mission, and every hit we do, we are supposed to ring the Gardener immediately after and he will take care of things. Make everything disappear, erase all traces leading to us and most of all, to Mister N. Apparently he never made a mistake.  So Jamie and me drove out to his farm house, which was just half an hour out of town. Indeed he has a large, overgrown garden right by the woods. I do wonder how many bodies might be buried out there. We drove up to the house and the door opened and there this thin, middle-aged man with a bony, but very interesting face, waved to us and  invited us in. Of course I recognized him, as I had seen him before.  I saw him once coming out of Mister N.’s office. I then had no idea that this slim, silver- haired man in a grey suit indeed was such an important figure.  He is very discreet for sure.  Anyway, we went into the living room, which was very rural an old-fashioned furnished, and he made us some tea with rum. Yum.  Classical music was running in the background, of course, another gentleman with taste.

 The Gardener was a very pleasant man to talk to actually. He’s very calm and collected. I like him. I was introduced to him as the new member of Mister N.‘s team.  Aww, that made me so happy. He seemed positively pleased to have a girl in the gang to do business with. He asked Jamie if I had been trained and was ready for business and Jamie said, absolutely. God, I was so proud!! This is such important shit, really, sometimes I don’t really grasp how big this is. What my life has become. What a big part I played now. There is no turning back now, for sure. I’m all in.

So the Gardener talked to me a little and explained to me what exactly his job is and how I am supposed to always follow strict instructions, nothing more and nothing less. I got a special cell phone with his number on speed dial. And then he said ‘we will talk soon’. I was relieved that I understood my part. Not too sure about some of the stuff he said.... I think he has chemicals, like acid, and then he mixes it with base afterwards to neutralize it, thus having water that he can use for the garden. So you basically could drink it, even though I really wouldn’t want to drink water containing dissolved death.  I don’t think the neighbours would be too pleased either if they knew, hehe. But anyway, the Gardener is very environmental friendly, which is really nice. He seriously is a fascinating guy. The quiet ones are always the most interesting, aren’t they?

 Jamie and me drove back to town and had a pizza at a restaurant. I really enjoyed our afternoon trip, having him all to myself. Finally I could ask a little bit about his holidays and yeah, he said, he had a nice Christmas at his parents place, hehe.  Weird to think he has a normal family to go home to, but then, we all live but a shadow life here.

Well, I better get ready to go out.

P.S. – same night...  Jamie was not there!!! Damn! I’m frustrated, hmm. But we had a good night out anyway.  Cass got so drunk I had to carry her into the taxi, hehe. Well, I’m tired... gonna take tomorrow off.

(c) I am Ruthless