1.April

It’s Saturday evening and I’m so tired. I did something bold last night, yes. After training with Jamie and Paul I decided to simply walk into Alex’s bar and ask him out. I said to him: “Hey, I had a frustrating day and I need some fun. When are you done here?” And he replied a little shy: “Ehm... 9pm, well, now actually... why?” and I said: “Awesome. Let’s go and have a drink at my place!” And yes, he said ‘yeah ok’!!! Wow, suddenly I got so nervous. Ok, the thing is, I really wanted Alex for sure, but the trigger for my sudden date wish was Jamie. 

At training he looked so hot, and he was such a charmer with his cheeky smile and flirty comments, that it painfully turned me on. I so fancy him. I so wanted to fuck him, right there. I got so frustrated. I even got distracted with my boxing and made some seriously bad fighting moves, and I took several nasty blows to my thighs. The spot turned black and blue at once. Outch. But I bit my tongue and played it cool. Then suddenly the guys talked about girls and Jamie commented something about some blonde chick he was doing not that long ago, and what awesome great tits she had...  and whooa! I got really jealous listening to that! I got mad to be honest, and really wanted to slap him. Arrgg. Why is he going out with some blonde chic when I am around, huh?

So I was in a really horny mood... and frustrated, and then I just thought ‘fuck it’, like literally... ‘I will ask Alex out and see what happens’. I’m almost surprised he agreed so quickly. Alex came out of the bar, wearing his black leather jacket over his white top and he looked so good it made me even more nervous. He brought a bottle of rum with him from work and then we took a taxi home to me. We had good laughs, and a lot of rum while we were sitting by my cute little kitchen table. Then we played some good deephouse music in the living room. He told me he was Dj’ing sometimes at a bar downtown. Our happy conversation let us to drugs and then he asked me if I had any at home. And I said “well... I got some coke...” remembering all the tiny bags I got from little Paul a few weeks ago. Alex was surprised and pretty much into it, and we had a noseful. He asked me if I can get nose candy easily, and I told him ‘yeah I can’... He got really excited and then he asked me about the other night, when I told him at the bar that I almost got shot. Shit, so he suddenly remembered that one. Damn. 

I kinda had forgotten that he is a sleazy bartender after all, keeping in mind all the strange confessions people blubber out in their drunken state of mind. Somehow he put two and two together and kept digging: “Ok wait a minute... are you a dealer or something? You must be, right..?” I said I really wasn’t a drug dealer, no. He asked me what I did then. Yes sir, that’s a tricky question right there...!  What was I supposed to say? So I answered a little vague and mysterious about being an office assistant to a nightclub owner and I said casually: “yeah drugs are kinda involved sometimes, yes. “ Alex was impressed “Wow, wicked. So you really are a badass chic, huh? Hey, how cool is that? And you can get free coke, right? Come on this is awesome...” Not sure why he was so eager about the coke.

Anyway, I thought it was enough talking. We were both a little high now and drunk, so I just kissed him and turned on the heat for real. Luckily I had no worries about my body. I was clean shaven and wore cute matching blue underwear. Before I always had to shave just before a date, and if I was unprepared, it would be like; no shave, no date. Which was pretty annoying. Especially when you did shave, and then came home empty handed and basically, it had all been for nothing, it was bloody frustrating. But since I started working in the strip club I have those regular Brasilian waxes and keep my whole body hairless. I also invested in good underwear. I mean, in my line of work now you never know when you get killed. And really, I don’t want to be found dead  in shitty underwear and then lie on some coroners table all naked and they comment, “uhh look at this hairy bitch, lol, she should have had a shave for sure... “

And, I really am proud of my abs these days. Yes, my body is super tight. But anyway, first we were doing it on my sofa... goaad his body is so sexy... those tattoos and his tight, big arms, this beard and aaahh, wow that was passion. Wild man for sure. So we initiated my stylish new, black couch, with trancy deephouse playing in the background, adding to the ecstatic mood and the rum bottle spilled all over my oriental, black coffee table, but hey, I didn’t care. We then moved along into the bedroom and yeah, he stayed the night... I was in heaven last night... and this morning... Nice! 

And he even stayed for breakfast too. I tried to keep the conversation light, avoiding questions about myself. I have not told him about my name ‘Ruthless’ either and I really want to. I mean, I really don’t know how far I can go. He seems so cool, open-minded and trustworthy, but really, I cannot risk letting him in on my secret life and how deeply involved I am, obviously. If only he knew. Again, I realised how difficult it would be to start a normal relationship. I have to ask the guys about this, like how do I handle people’s questions about my life. Do I avoid them, or lie openly with fake answers. Alex left before noon and I just said “hey, I see you around... ok?”  hinting that I am not interested in anything serious. But yeah, I did have a really cool night... and I love my life style! For sure!

(c) I am Ruthless